My boyfriend just ended our 5-year relationship

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My boyfriend just ended our 5-year relationship

My boyfriend just ended our 5-year relationship

Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

Illustration/ Ravi Jadhav

Dr. LoveMy boyfriend and I were together for five years. We had a great relationship for the first four years, but over the last year, things started to get a little predictable and we drifted apart quite a bit. We still met pretty often and chatted regularly, but it didn’t seem like either of us wanted to do more than that. A week ago, he called and said he wanted to end this and asked me not to contact him again. I was shocked and saddened, not because it ended, but because of how he chose to do it. He didn’t have the courtesy of meeting me face to face and telling me that this was no longer working. We spent half a decade together and he wanted me to stay away from him. I don’t know if I should get in touch just to ask him why he did this, or let it go and move on with my life.
What do you hope to accomplish by asking him for his reasons? He spent those five years too, and has obviously given this some thought. If he believes the time you had together doesn’t count for anything, how do you hope to change his mind? You say you aren’t upset about the relationship ending, which is obviously the bigger issue. If that doesn’t bother you much, how will this conversation change anything? If he doesn’t want you in his life, and you’re okay with that, why not simply put this behind you?

I want to convince my boyfriend that my decision to study abroad is good for my career. He thinks we won’t be able to manage a relationship if I am away. What do I do?
It takes two people to make things work. If he believes that you moving away will mean an end, it probably won’t work because it sounds as if he has given up already. Tell him why you believe it will happen and ask if he is ready to try.

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